Utah, 2009, although you could be mistaken for thinking we lived in a different year. Unemployment is on the rise, several of us are facing unprecedented pay cuts and the state is, like the rest of the country, facing a bit of a financial crisis. But let us not worry about that right now because there are more pressing concerns at hand. The zion curtain is not being enforced properly! Oh the horror.
For those that don't know what this is I shall explain.
The zion curtain is a non transparent barrier found in Utah restaurants to prevent children from being harmed by the sight of seeing alcoholic drinks being made. And no, sadly I am not being sarcastic about that. Think of it as being like a sneeze guard for sin. To get a better idea of how it works and some of the other rules to protect us from ourselves, click the link below.
The Zion Curtain and how it works.
Ok so are we now all up to speed on what it is and how it "works"? good.
Let us move on to the issue at hand. It turns out that several eateries are not adhering to the rules and are putting our children at risk by having transparent barriers. That's right, even as we speak there are children being exposed to the sight of someone mixing drinks along with all of those shiny bottles. This will surely cause irreparable to them and breed a generation of alcoholics right? Well this is what our house president seems to think.
Mr Waddoups is up in arms about this and the lack of enforcement. He is now calling for the responsibilty of this enforcement passed over from the Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control to the Department of Public Safety. That's the guys that issue things such as concealed firearms permits by the way.
Did I mention that this is being done in the name of the children?
So here is a hypothetical situation (hypothetical because I don't have kids). Myself, my wife and our 2 perfect children go to Applebees for dinner. There is a large impassable barrier along the bar, the sin is being kept in. The waitress comes to our table, hands out menus and proceeds to ask us what we would like to drink. My wife orders an iced tea (her turn to drive), the kids order a soft drink of their choice and I order a beer. UH OH! There will be an adult beverage on the table. Even worse they will see me drinking said beverage.
This is of course the great big glaring hole in the concept of the zion curtain. The only thing it is achieving or has ever achieved is in making Utah look a laughing stock (the 2002 winter olympics for example). Utah is known for having some of the best skiing on the face of the planet and yet we lose a large portion of tourist money to Colorado. if you ask any of these skiers why they chose Colorado over Utah the answer will almost always be the same. Utahs archaic and draconian liquor laws.
So let's take a minute and consider that maybe Mr Waddoups and others in a similar mindset are correct. That the mere sight of someone preparing a drink is enough to turn the young impressionable minds into alcoholic monsters. Surely we should then take the next logical step and demand to have these same barriers in places like fast food restaurants. After all obesity and the related diseases (diabetes, heart disease etc) afflict more children per year than underage drinking. Don't believe me? Then take a look at the numbers over at US Census Bureau.
We could go even further an have these barriers around entire buildings such as churches that are not part of Mr Waddoups' beliefs and the beliefs of those that follow him. While we are at it maybe we should have all women and girls totally covered with just a slit so they can see where they are going (something in black maybe?). That way we and our children won't be harmed by lustful thoughts. Hey that's a great idea, I wonder why no one else has ever thought of doing that?!
The decision of how much a child is exposed to something such as alcohol is not an issue for legislature, it is an issue for parents. Let the parents do their job of raising their children and let the legislature get back to the important issues that we are facing. Let's get some of those tourist dollars back in Utah where they belong. If I may plagiarize former President Ronald Reagan:
Mr Waddoups, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL!
